Saturday, May 7, 2011

The South by the Numbers

An unscientific survey, based on observation and conjecture

  • Ratio of Dollar General stores to inhabitants --- 3:1 (AL and MS)
  • Armadillo roadkills per mile (highway) --- 3
  • Native diet --- Fried chicken
  • Ratio of Shoney's to inhabitants --- 1:5
  • Ratio of Starbucks to inhabitants --- 1:10,000
  • Twang of drawl --- increases proportionally to proximity to the Equator
  • Ratio of Baptist churches to inhabitants --- 1:7
  • Ratio of non-Protestant churches to inhabitants --- 1:850,963
  • Primary indicator of church holiness --- size/quantity of crosses displayed in front of church (1 large cross = 3 medium crosses)
  • Average gas price (per gallon, AL and MS) --- $3.61



  1. Shokey's? I think you mean Shoney's and if you haven't eaten in one GO THERE!!!

  2. Duly noted, and we had dinner there tonight.

  3. Yayyyy! I am never disappointed by a trip to Shoney's. Unfortunately they disappear once you get to like Arkansas. I think there might be ONE in Houston.